A: First of all I am very sorry that you have had to go through this journey once again. This is a painful journey and also a very significant one on lots of levels. I am really pleased that you are connecting with, and having some understanding of, the layers of meanings behind your illness. Yes, you are coming into your Chiron return. In fact, Chiron was within a degree of your birth Chiron last year and can be considered to have already reached a peak. I imagine that this coincided with your first round of chemotherapy. Generally, the Chiron return is an extraordinary opportunity to do some very, very deep healing and this is particularly around unhealed places within our psyche that we haven’t had access to previously.
On another level, Chiron in Pisces indicates that you were born excessively open psychically, spiritually and emotionally and this is a very, very sensitive, vulnerable and mutable part of your self. Your Chiron placement opens you to being a psychic sponge for other people’s pain. So, whilst your wounding experiences were personal, other parts are about your absorbing personal pain from others who were around at your birth and later.
In your particular chart, this pain has to do with the dynamics in your parent’s marriage at that time. Your birth Chiron in Pisces in the first house is opposite a conjunction of Ceres, Pluto and Juno in Virgo in the 7th house. With Pluto conjunct Juno (the goddess of marriage) there is a suggestion of some unhealthy power dynamics in your parent’s relationship, where one of them is likely to act in controlling ways whilst the other plays the victim. With this opposition, classically your mum (it could also be dad) takes on the Piscean end of this dynamic and is the sensitive, vulnerable one, who takes excessive responsibility for others’ emotional wellbeing. Mum, might further take on the role of victim and unconsciously hand over her power and individualism to her spousal partner, who is represented by the power in the 7th house.
So amongst the kind of things you absorb psychically in this one to two hour period after birth was a lot of unhealed energy in that relationship. Additionally, Chiron in the first house accentuates the Piscean feeling of being excessively responsible (and even guilty) for others peoples’ pain. In the first house, which represents the way we express ourselves in the world, it can represent having your own personal, autonomous self-expression being severely compromised And so a cancer is more likely than not to have been caused by what you have taken on from your parents, and what they reflect about the whole family system generationally .
So, whilst there is a layer of personal unhealed and unexpressed anger and rage it also coming from your family system. Currently, your progressed Mars (the traditional god of war representing your capacity for assertion, expressing your needs and desires) is active in all this. Progressed Mars has been at 15’ [Virgo] and thus opposing your natal Chiron for the last couple of years. So as well as transiting Chiron re-visiting its birthplace, it is also sending oppositions to your progressed Mars. Natally, your Mars is in Leo at the South Node. This Mars is a very fiery, passionate, dynamic, assertive and extraverted one, but with its opposition to Saturn, will tend to become frustrated by various agencies such as the conditioning from within our society’s patriarchal structures and in particular, your personal relationship with your dad.
So part of the cancer has been the negative absorption of this and other forms of unexpressed anger and negativity. There’s no convincing a native Mars in Leo that a passive response to life is OK! Chiron will attempt to purify and release these various toxins. If you’re healing is successful physically, this is going to be extraordinarily turning point because another aspect of Chiron is to drop a bombshell on your identification with being wounded and to have you more aligned, more identified with the healing aspect of the archetype. Chiron in the first house, along with other aspects of your chart, describes you as a multi-skilled healer and we can pray that the cancer is an initiation into expressing this in your world
There is a grand trine in your chart as natal Chiron in the First in Pisces, trines Psyche and Neptune in Scorpio in your Ninth House, which trine asteroids Shiva and Medusa in Cancer in the Fifth house, which in turn trines back to your natal Chiron. This is an extraordinary combination of exalted, very potent Scorpionic spiritual power aligning with the healing giftedness of Chiron in Pisces. The Shiva/Shakti combination (in the form of Shiva/Medusa) in Cancer is very tantric in nature. Therefore, there is an extraordinary degree of transformative spiritual potency here.
It would be easy to see Chiron only as a wounded place, however, it is also a very gifted place. What is beautiful about this month and next month is that transiting Jupiter sits right on your Shiva/Medusa conjunction and this positively energises this exceptional grand trine in your natal birthchart. What a great positive energy source!
Looking ahead, the subplot of this Chiron position suggests you are going to be always directed towards engaging in some form of healing work. It is one expression of soul purpose for you. This is reinforced by the North Node which represents more of the jigsaw of your ultimate soul purposes in life. Your progressed North Node is conjunct progressed Hekate, who is the so-called Witch Queen and Medicine Woman. What that suggests to me, is that through this healing crisis (which might take the duration of your Chiron return, this year and some of next year as well) is a soul preparation for getting into alignment with your soul purposes. You will be able to claim more and more of the superb psycho-spiritual gifts that you have in your chart.
Now, to help this along I would recommend practices that help you to move through your psychic emotional absorptions. These could be in the form of any potent energetic psychotherapy, meditations and healing practices. Reiki for instance clearly is working for you. In fact, any good healing practice will bear great fruit, because your inner healer is also right up for you. Your Psyche/Neptune combination also suggests intense meditation and spiritual practices.
With the very high powered, dark goddess material in your psyche (such as Hekate and Medusa who are both waking up) I think Sally Kempton’s book “Awakening Shakti” would be excellent. Its guidance through meditations to work with this energy (particularly the Kali-like versions of the goddess) will be enormously helpful in waking up this energy. Toxic rage is a big part of what you are dealing with, both your own and what you have absorbed from the imbalances in your frustrated parents and other sources. When your physical body is ready for it, some of the more energetic therapies such as breathwork, primal, psychodrama, gestalt and experiential astrology can help you actively work with this toxic rage in your system.
Now, your North Node is actually in the house of the child and creativity. When I look at the great combination of spiritual and healing power in this house, it talks about the child within and how accessing the inner child allows more potency to come through. If you choose, or are consciously on the journey to becoming some kind of healer, you might look at healing practices that engage the creative arts such as art therapy, dance and movement therapy these are ways to work with the wounded and the healing the child.
Additionally, with Hekate on the North Node, she is very much connected with women’s business, spiritual and shamanic midwifery and with shamanism (such as sweat lodges, vision quests and women’s traditions) in general.
So, all the very, very best, with lots of love and blessings. Go well with all these layers of your healing process.